Friday, November 27, 2009

Tiger needs a Mulligan on That Drive

Well, it seems that Tiger Woods needs a Mulligan on the drive he took at 2:25 AM last night. Here is what I think happened, as of Friday evening, 7:00 PM.
Tiger and his wife were home, and something came up that they needed from the store for the baby. Since they didn't have a nanny, someone had to go make that run for diapers, formula, medicine, or whatever. Words were exchanged between Tiger and the misses over who would go, and in a huff or anger possibly mixed with pride, Tiger grabs the keys, stomps out of the house, jumps in the Escalade, throws it in reverse, and stomps on the gas. The cars lurches backward in an unexpected way, and Tiger, with all the confidence in the world, tries to correct, over corrects, and hits the fire hydrant. In a rare un-Tiger-like moment, Tiger panics, and doesn't push the brakes, resulting in the car crashing directly into the neighbor's tree, throwing Tiger's head violently into the steering wheel, cutting his handsome face severely. Because the Cadillac Escalade wasn't going 33 MPH or more, the airbags didn't deploy in time to save face, so to speak.
Hearing the crash, Mrs. Woods ran out into the cool Florida night, fully panicked and feeling guilty for their argument just moments ago, and she ran to help her husband who was pinned in the vehicle. She reached for the most ubiquitous item that could possibly break a window, and Tiger regained consciousness just long enough to recommend a 9-iron instead of the wood club she had selected. Mrs. Woods broke the window pulled Tiger out of the vehicle with adrenaline-enhanced strength, and called 911. Authorities arrived shortly and took Tiger to the hospital, where they treated his wounds, which turned out not to be as bad as the profuse bleeding had lead everyone to believe.

I can see that they will probably have to make some changes, if not by having a nanny live with them, then at least by having an on-call service to bring them things when they need them, so they don't have to run out and risk accidents in the heat of the night.

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